You are holy

Story by Brianne Grebil

I’m waiting to see this precious one soon. It’s been weeks. The pandemic has kept us apart.

All our days are always numbered, but I am so painfully aware of the dwindling count of hers. The light still shines, but she is at the flickering end of her candle.

Photo from December. We were sitting together but she was tired. She leaned over and fell asleep. I found myself wondering about our reversed roles. How many times had I fallen asleep in her lap when I was young? How often did she worry about my wellbeing as I went through life? How hard did she hurt for me in the times I struggled? How scared was she about how little she could control for me?

It's been said that having children is to forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body - but really that is the trade you make when you love anyone in this life. You see and experience and feel glorious things come into being, and in some way or another, you must see and experience and feel them go away. Being human has to be the most astonishing and devastating thing in existence. Make no mistake, if you are here, you are holy.